About Adult Babies & Diaper Lovers

I have been curious about AgePlay for a long time. Not because I identify as adult baby or diaper love. Quite the opposite, I just don’t seem to get it. And it bothers me when I don’t understand something.

The other day, I had the pleasure to interview Emma – also known as @EmmaABDLgirl on Instagram and @ABDLGirl on Twitter – about her passion: AgePlay. Emma is an active ABDL Advocate, enjoying both the adult baby and diaper lover side of it. She introduces herself on her site abdlgirl.com in the cutest way:

Hi, I’m Emma. I live in Amsterdam which is awesome. In the summer I like to ride my bike in a diaper and a short skirt. When I stand on the pedals, my diaper is totally showing and that makes me giggle.

It was absolutely fascinating to get a glimpse into this taboo topic. It was great that Emma’s husband Hans also joined and gave his insights not just as a psychologist but also as a partner who isn’t all that much into AgePlay himself.


If you are interested in the full 1.5 hrs interview, you can find the video in our member area. The video is free, but because it’s mature content, we need to to make sure you are legally permitted to view it. Just leave your email address and confirm that you are allowed to listen to explicit content, no credit card required. Or watch the first half hour here.


Let’s look at some of the definitions around the terminology and what the meaning of ABDL is for the parties involved.

What Is AgePlay?

Age Play, in general, is a form of roleplay between consenting adults, in which one or multiple individuals act a different age than they actually are. AgePlay can have a sexual component, but it doesn’t have to. Most commonly, people take on the role of a younger person, but there is also elderly role play.

What Is ABDL – Adult Baby/Diaper Lover?

ABAdult Baby nowadays generally refers to one person impersonating a younger self, or alter ego. This doesn’t have to be a baby per se but be any developmental stage: from baby through to toddler, elementary school, high school boy or girl or university.

Some ageplayers are very strict about their age and will stick in detail to, say the developmental stage of a three year old. Others are more age-fluid and chose to create their own persona, mixing and matching those aspects of young age that they enjoy.

Emma tells me in her interview that she identifies somewhere between age of six and 14 – with a hint of baby sprinkled in. Because she wants to be able to say what she likes and doesn’t like, but at the same time she just loves pacifiers and diapers. Fair enough, I say.

If we chose to live our fantasies, let’s not restrict ourselves by reality

DL Diaper Love on the other hand, is the fetish side of ABDL: Being sexually aroused by wearing, touching or seeing a diaper – or seeing it being worn. Some adult babies also have a diaper fetish – some don’t. As with all things kinky, the spectrum is very wide. Some people enjoy wetting their diapers, others don’t – some people also enjoy pooping into their diaper but much less common if I understand Emma correctly.

What Is the Meaning of ABDL?

What I learned from Emma, as she was sitting there in her ABDL Onesie, is how much Adult Baby is about feeling cradled, safe and loved. The little who goes into a childlike mindset liberates himself or herself from the responsibilities of an adult world. This “little space” makes room for true play, cuddling, being cuddled and creates such an innocent, happy space.

I watch Emma’s eyes light up as she talks about her happy space and feel the positive energy she oozes. Suddenly, there is nothing weird about Adult Baby, nothing disgusting, nothing sick. It’s just adorable and beautiful.

Emma pointed out an interesting difference to the happy space of submissive archetypes – subs, slaves, pain sluts, you name them – and littles. “You don’t need a caretaker to be little. Just be little all by yourself. You can put on your onesie and grab a teddy bear and snuggle up on the sofa with a kids movie.” I find that a very intriguing thought.

“So what is in it for the Bigs,” I ask her. “Why would someone want to look after an adult baby?” Emma asks me a counter question: “Have you ever held a kitten?” The feeling of “oh my gosh this is too cute”, taking care of someone, loving and cherishing them. Wanting to dress them up, nourish them, just be there for them. I get that too.

What About ABDL & Sex?

If I had to generalize, I would say: ‘Adult Baby’ is all about the roleplay, about the being little. Emma calls it her ‘Happy Space’. And then ‘Diaper Love’ is about the diaper fetish and the sex. But that would be generalized and if I’ve learned one thing over the years, then that every part of kink comes on a huge spectrum.

So, is there ABDL and sex? Yes. Does it have to be? No. In fact, from what I understand, for a large part of the adult baby community, it isn’t about sex in the slightest. In Emma’s words:

“Being little is my happy space. My happy space isn’t sexual per se, it’s just happy. But if I am going to do sex stuff, there is nothing better for me than to do that in my happy space.”

Getting Started with AgePlay

The lovely thing about starting with ABDL is that you can ease in ever so gently all by your own. Even if your partner isn’t into it, you can get a cute onesie and curl up on the sofa without attracting too much attention.

ABDL is a taboo. And realistically, it will stay that way. If you are into Age Play, don’t expect the world around you to understand. What I do want you to realize though is: Age Play is not something you have to be ashamed off. There is an entire community out there that will welcome you with open arms. Show that kindness to yourself too.

It’s not about society accepting. It’s about ourselves accepting.

Now, go get into a onesie and ditch shame. 🙂

If you are interested in the interview, you can find the first part of the video here – For members, you can find the full 1.5 hrs interview here.  

 

Sonja is a co-founder of boldpleasures. She's on a mission to free people to revel in their true sensuality by removing the stigma surrounding kink. Sonja writes about first steps, ditching the shame and how to combine kink and 'normal' family life. She's a mother of two and happily married.

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