Anal sex is one of those things that is either amazing or really shit not so awesome. The difference between one and the other is just knowing a few of your basic facts. Here’s what you need to know for starters:

1Talk About it

Let’s face it, there is no way you can sneak your way up there. Don’t try, it’s incredibly annoying when guys try the backdoor ‘oops by accident’. Better: share that you would like to, ask if your girl is up to it. If she’s a bit scared, assure her you will be careful and let her take the lead.

2Lube Is Your Friend

Seriously, do NOT try butt play without lubrication. While the vagina is equipped with natural lube, the rear end is not. So you got to bring the stuff. Make sure you two aren’t allergic to the lube and remember to doublecheck the lube is safe for condoms.

3Be Safe

You will always hear us advocating safer sex, full stop. Standard condoms will do, assuming you are well lubed up. Crucial for her health and safety: Whatever went up the ass doesn’t go anywhere else before a good, good clean.

Actually, let’s say that in big letters: Whatever went up the ass doesn’t go anywhere else before a good, good clean.

4Size Matters

Great news for those with smaller bits, because chances are it will be a lot more pleasant for her. I recommend to buy a small buttplug to practice with. A finger or two will also work but make sure you trimmed your nails and your fingers a smooth.

5Know the Way

There’s only one way up, right? Wrong. Actually, the position and angle make a huge different for the level of discomfort for her. On her belly and doggy-style are usually most comfortable for beginners. Or have her sit on your lap, facing you for a cuddly version.

6Let Her Lead

If she is a bit nervous and you want to give her control, cowgirl is a good position so she set the pace. In any position, no matter how horny you are, go slow and give her time to adjust bit by bit. Only start thrusting when she feels good.

Don’t forget the other bits.

The best way to ease the initial pain and to driver her completely nuts is to stimulate her clit or breasts as well. It’s great natural pain relief and can lead to the most amazing orgasms. Tip: sex toys can be a fun addition 😉

 

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Sonja
Sonja is a co-founder of boldpleasures. She's on a mission to free people to revel in their true sensuality by removing the stigma surrounding kink. Sonja writes about first steps, ditching the shame and how to combine kink and 'normal' family life. She's a mother of two and happily married.

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