How to find the right person for your threesome

How to find the right person for your threesome

“I’ve not told this to my partner but I’ve been thinking a lot about having a threesome for the past few months. It’s not like my partner isn’t enough or anything, we’ve been together for the past 4 years and are in a really good place. That’s actually one big reason why I fantasize about having a threesome. I think we’d be really hot at it. But, I’m not sure if my partner would be into it or how even would he react to the idea of adding another woman to the mix and going at it. Hell, I don’t even know how to have a threesome or how to find someone for it. It could all turn out to be very awkward, for all I know. I have no idea how to go about this!”

How to Have a Threesome

First of all, thanks for asking. Secondly, you don’t have to be nervous or apologetic about fantasizing a threesome. We completely understand the beginner’s jittery feeling that can happen with going out of the way and experimenting sexually, that too with a complete stranger. But hey, you don’t have to worry. We are here to walk you through the step-by-step guide to communicating and finding the right person for your sexy threesome. We’ll also tell you a thing or two about how to have a threesome and you can use it later. 

How to Have a Threesome

It can be a great way to spice things up a bit and since you have the confidence that you could be good at it, it’s a great start. Threesome is not only limited to being sexually involved once and going different ways after that. As a subcategory of Polyamory or non-monogamous relationships, threesome can be proper three people relationships with feelings and all that jazz. So you need to first figure out if you just want a sexual rendezvous or an out-and-out feel. This is a discussion you need to have with your partner. So let’s get into the steps for the same and help you find someone for a threesome.

How To Find Someone For a Threesome

We have listed a few tips to pave your way through the maze of getting to the discussion about threesome, finding the right person and then discussing how to have a threesome. Here, take a look.

Communicate with your Current Partner

We want to do this in the healthiest way possible so that there is no lingering animosity or jealousy that builds up and blasts later. Therefore, the first step before finding the right person is to have a word with your Partner about it. Communicate the idea to them, see if they are on board. Don’t get too excited if the basic consent is out of the way as there is a whole lot more that you should discuss. 

It’s safe to have a conversation among the pre-established couple about the nature of the threesome- whether they want it to be a throuple situation or just a one-night thing, how will they go about a situation where there is an insecurity that comes up and things like that. This ensures the confidence in the partnership and that this team of two is secure enough to welcome and embrace a third.

Explore Online Avenues

Explore Online Avenues

Once you are done with the initial discussion about a threesome and you’re too excited about it, Go online and search how to have a threesome. You will find great insight into how much more there is to this overtly sexualized, cliché fantasy. This is sure to set things in a bit more perspective for you, as a couple, as to what you want and would like. To enhance your research and make sure how you feel about it, you can watch threesome porn together or visit websites like FriendFinder-X where you can speak to people from all the communities cross the sexual spectrum.

If you’re sure of the decision and are well versed on how to have a threesome, you can turn to other online avenues for finding unicorns. Posting an online ad is a great way to start where you should specify the details of this particular setup so that interested unicorns can get in touch.

Go on to Threesome Dating Apps

In today’s digital dating environment, one of the best ways on how to find someone for a threesome is to create a profile on Dating Apps like Tinder, Bumble, 3Fun, Feeld, FetLife etc. You can discuss and decide among yourselves which app you would like to stick to and then you can both make individual profiles on the App. Now, while making the profile, revisit your dating days and get your game on. You don’t want to come off boring or creepy while asking for a threesome. It’s hot and thrilling, so make it sound like that. 

Another thing that you must take into account while making the profile is to be as clear and upfront as possible. Be decent, but honest. Incorporate as much information about the potential threesome setting you are looking at into the bio while being creative and attractive. Unicorns are a rare find, but there will be someone out there for you.

Have a Courtship Period

The next step is a very crucial one. By now, you have a list of potential partners for your sexy threesome who swiped right on the dating apps or responded to your online ad. You need to, unanimously, shortlist people on the basis of your preferences. Filter out the creeps or people who are not serious about it and have conversations.

A courtship is highly advisable while looking for a threesome as it is supposed to be a very intimate thing even if it is for a single night. Get to know them well, what are they down for and plan accordingly. This creates a healthy atmosphere based on respect and liking, keeping everyone’s feelings in mind. Take them out on a Date when it is the right time or meet at least once before the threesome to check compatibility and build trust. Even if it’s at the last stages of courtship and you or your partner feels off, you can communicate and opt out in a decent way.

Discuss Boundaries & SafeWords

Discuss Boundaries & SafeWords

When speaking about how to have a threesome, one of the first conversations to have is to discuss the Boundaries and Safewords. We said we’d want you to do this in the healthiest way possible. So, hear this out. As a couple, you might have a certain level of understanding and trust in bed and otherwise.

You would also be aware of what the other person feels are their hard limits etc. So when there is another person who is going to be a part of this setup, you need to ask them what their boundaries are in bed, things that they are uncomfortable with or may find triggering. This not only sets you up for a well-planned threesome but also shows that you respect the other person.

In addition to that, things can get wild and raunchy while there are three people at it. In this case it is advised that you should establish safewords or safe signals. Anytime anyone feels uncomfortable or wants to pause the threesome, they can call the Safeword or Signal it to communicate the same. 

Discuss Preferences & Wants

The next tip on how to have a threesome or how to find someone for a threesome is to discuss their likes and dislikes in bed. Again, you would know about your partner’s preferences and what your mutual favorite play is, but when there is a third person involved, you must ask them what they like. This is where you can also talk about potential Sexually Transmitted Diseases etc. along with the fun things.

Maybe if you’re all up for something even wilder, you might want to introduce some bondage in the mix, or begin with a lighter BDSM. You can talk it all out and decide by taking an individual decision whether you want to experiment something more or stick to the vanilla stuff. 

Treat them Equally Well

how to have a threesome - Treat them equally

Now that you’re done with the foundations and it’s time to play, a last tip on how to have a threesome is to never forget along the way that it’s a threesome. Don’t get too involved with your partner as you have another person with feelings and wants who you asked to join. So, you need to be respectful of that and treat them equally well.

Make them feel included and pick up their likes from the pre-discussion and give it to them. You might need to take an extra step to do that but you should. Keep complimenting them, seduce them well and take them till the climax with you. A mutual respect should be there at all times during a threesome.

Read More: Questions to Ask in a BDSM Relationship When Trying to Get Pregnant

Conclusion

In the end, we hope this was a great guide on how to have a threesome. Keep in mind that this is an experience which should be great for all three of you, so make each and every action count. Have a lot of fun with it. Go all out but respect the boundaries. Value their presence and thank them afterwards for joining you.  

If you think the sexual chemistry is too irresistible after the first time, you could even make it a thing. Even if not a full blown relationship, they could be your plus one during sex every now and then. Do write to us telling about your experiences with a threesome and if you could find the right unicorn by reading this article.

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