Undoubtedly, Spanking is one of the most common kinks out there. It won’t be surprising to know that most people in bed have at least once tried Spanking with their partners. Also, because it seems like low maintenance BDSM, people just try their hands at it without going much into the whys and hows of it. In addition to that, spanking is not just fun, but for the one receiving it, it can also release endorphins which can cause a natural high. So, there is scientific backing to BDSM Spanking as an activity. Despite all of that, there is a great amount of hush-hush around the topic.
The taboo tagging hasn’t left the side of sexual conversations and kinks even in the 21st century where there are dating sites for all kinds of kinksters but no open conversation about anything. The inaccurate and judgmental pop culture referencing has given rise to a lot of myths about BDSM Spanking which we shall try to burst in this article.
Myth vs Reality of BDSM Spanking
We have tried to compile a list of 6 Myths around BDSM Spanking that seem to be the most out there opinions, which we shall try to clarify. Let’s take a look:
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BDSM Spanking is against the Consent Culture
As frivolous and out of sorts the BDSM Spanking might seem, it does not violate the consent. There are strict negotiations between the consenting individuals before any kind of BDSM Relationship starts. The Power Dynamic is pre-decided and agreed upon. And it is only then that the scene begins. Both the parties can keep forward their hard and soft limits which no one should violate during the Spanking. For instance, the intensity of Spanking can be discussed before the actual Spanking where the Sub can approve or disapprove of high intensity, belts or other whips and spanking equipment.
The BDSM community, in general, takes these terms and consent very seriously owing to the higher stakes involved because of the roughness.
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BDSM Spanking is all about Inflicting Pain
There is no denying the fact that the intensity quotient is generally high in a BDSM setup, more so while Spanking as it actively involves hitting, to an outsider. But it is not all about the pleasure that comes from the pain. People who enjoy it do not have to be masochists essentially, in order to perform Spanking BDSM. Additionally, Spanking is a form of light BDSM as well where it acts as just an expression of love while the sexual partners are going down town. As the popular image goes, Spanking does not always have to involve the Belt spanking BDSM or whips and gears.
There is also the general dynamic of BDSM that comes into play- people who seek pleasure from the Dom-Sub power exchange while Spanking.
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BDSM Spanking is Dangerous
The pop-culture image around BDSM usually revolves around dark and chains with whips, pain, rough sex, BDSM belt spanking and all that jazz. Conversely, if you look at it, it is as normal as the Vanilla sexual relationships. Better even, in the sense that the Consent boundaries are taken very seriously in the BDSM Community which doesn’t seem to be the case with Vanilla people. Further, it’s not like people enter this setting unaware of the intensity and roughness factors. That is exactly what attracts them towards Spanking that they get to live their fantasies with consenting partners.
To an outsider, it seems unsafe and dangerous but that’s what Unprotected Sex is, not Spanking bondage.
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Women tend to be Submissive & hence, Oppressed
Another convenient misconception about BDSM Spanking is that Men are always the in-charge and the Women are only Submissive. First of all, it is always a personal choice as to what role an individual assumes when entering a Spanking scene. It is based on that, these people look for counterparts. So, Women can very well be the Dom or even choose to be Submissive, as per their choice. But whoever is in the Dominant position is not trying to oppress the Submissive. People need to understand that it is a kink that people play out with the agreement of both the parties and it is not gender biased or misogynistic in any way.
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BDSM Spanking is Emotionally Damaging
One big myth bubble in the minds of people who like to psychoanalyze everything is that BDSM Spanking comes from childhood trauma and hence can be Emotionally Damaging. They feel that the trauma comes out in ways such as Spanking when people grow up. Hold your horses, remove your thinking caps and see it as a simple kink. That simplifies it all for you. If at all, the Power Exchange involved in BDSM helps resolve a lot of personality issues and builds attributes in the real life personality of the person. So, just because there is Spanking BDSM at play, doesn’t mean that there has to be a psychological trauma behind it.
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You always need a BDSM Spanking Bench
Don’t lose heart if you are into BDSM Spanking but don’t own all the fancy gears and benches etc to be able to call it Spanking. It is very much the same, rather more natural when you use your own hands and fingers for the scene. Once you get the technique to inflict just the right amount of pain along with pleasure and excitement, you will seem to enjoy it even more than the spanking Bench experience. Just lay the Sub in your lap and play with your hands. Keep checking on your partner from time to time and if the feedback is good and your partner seems to be having a good time, who needs a BDSM Spanking bench then!
Conclusion
This was our attempt at bursting the myths around BDSM Spanking, so that there is nothing to be embarrassed about. We should constantly try to build a more sex-positive atmosphere around for there to be more room for conversations and discussions around kinks and fetishes. There is nothing taboo about wanting certain things in bed. Everybody has them and should be able to own them in the best possible way.
