Rimming isn’t for everyone, I will give you that. Some love it, some hate it. Some only enjoy giving oral anal pleasures, others only enjoy receiving a good rim job.

I personally struggled with rimming for a long time because I thought it was super disgusting. Actually, with proper hygiene and a partner who thoroughly enjoys you licking his butt, it’s a whole lot of fun. You’d be surprised how soft an anus is. But Let’s start at the beginning:

What Is Rimming?

Rimming is a different word for oral, anal sex – or formally anilingus. It also goes by ‘tossing the salad’ which cracks me up. So, a rim job means stimulating your partner through licking, kissing and sucking, possibly penetrating, their anus, i.e. their butt hole.

Rimming is a great sexual equalizer, because no matter the gender or sexual orientation, we all have an asshole. Men and women alike can enjoy anilingus – both on the giving and receiving end. I have read many an article claiming that men annoy giving rim jobs more than women do, but don’t have empirical evidence for that.

Why Is a Rim Job so Hot?

Is your first reaction to the thought of licking someone’s asshole is making an icky face? Well there you go. The psychological aspect of why a rim job is so pleasant, is because it’s naughty. And whilst buttocks themselves are generally considered sexy, the anus typically isn’t featured on advertising billboards. (If you see one, do send me the picture though!)

Licking your partner’s anus also has a certain degree of power play to it, a form of humiliation or even degradation that can be very arousing for both parties.

Physically, the anus has a tremendous amount of nerve endings coming together. The brain tends to filter stimulation out when pooping because a part of our brain says ‘hey this isn’t sexy, filter filter filter’. But if you allow your brain to really feel al that oral stimulation, it’s one sexy fireworks.

Many people, both male and female, can even come to a orgasm through anal oral sex alone. But another fun aspect of a rim job is that it’s so easily combined with hand-jobs – either clitoral stimulation or jerking off your partner.

Anilingus Health Risks

See how I am getting all formal here ‘Anilingus Health Risks’? But seriously, the anus’ primary function is NOT to be licked. So we gotta talk poop here. Where feces come out, there is bacteria – and not just the good kind.

Not following basic hygiene can get you a few days of diarrhea in the best case and seriously ill worst case. Some of the diseases you can get include Syphilis, Herpes, Gonorrhea, and Chlamydia. If E. Coli is ingested orally and your partner has an active infection, you can risk transmitting Hepatitis A and B. Other examples of bad bacteria and parasites include Salmonella and C.difficile, which can lead to a series of stomach and digestive tract issues.

Just don’t risk it. And for rimming, you don’t need to make too much fuss – it’s quick and easy to get your butt ready.

Hygiene Is not Just Anal Etiquette

Hans walks through the different options to prepare for anal sex the other day – do check it out before you start.

How ‘far’ you want to go, is up to you. Some couples are fine with just cleaning the anus outside properly and give the butthole a good wiggle with the finger. Baby wipes go a long way here. If you are just planning on ‘surface activity’ and both of you are healthy, then this basic cleaning routing is sufficient from a medical perspective. But other partners expect a good internal cleaning as well. It’s crucial that you talk about your expectations before, so you are both absolutely comfortable.

If you are not with a steady partner, I would strongly recommend you use cofferdams – you can get them in most sex shops online and offline. Much like condoms, they prevent that bacteria or any bodily fluids get exchanged and thus the spreading of STIs and STDs.

Let’s not end on a scary note here: Rimming is a hell of a lot of fun.

Let’s look at some tips on how to give a great rim job next week.

Sonja is a co-founder of boldpleasures. She's on a mission to free people to revel in their true sensuality by removing the stigma surrounding kink. Sonja writes about first steps, ditching the shame and how to combine kink and 'normal' family life. She's a mother of two and happily married.

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